Akatsuki hide and seek
by trancedancenarutard
Summary: Ever wondered how each Akatsuki member would beat you in hide and seek without breaking section 5 of the rules? Well, here you go! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Interesting, the Akatsuki would like to play hide-and-seek! This could be disastrous, hilarious, and even suspenseful. Depending on which character you like, you'll soon have the choice of choosing any story. By the way, in this one, there won't be any Madara, just Tobi.

Your name is Sayumi, and you pay a visit to the Akatsuki. They accept you as a guest, and now they're bored.

Hey, hide-and-seek is a good idea! It would annoy the hell out of some of them, and the others would get a kick out of my skills! Wait, it could be reversed and changed. Instead of one person looking for everyone, the whole group could try to find _me_. And they only have thirty minutes to look, so if they aren't back in the living room in thirty minutes, then anytime after that doesn't count, even if they find me. Ooh, this would be a great game!

"Alright everyone, I have an idea. It's gonna be interesting, and I bet that Pein would like it since it tests your skills at tracking." Pein raises his eyebrows, and he doesn't believe me or even look interested. I ignored him and continued, explaining the rules of this different hide-and-seek game, and the fact that there were no exceptions.

Hidan then screams, "DAMN, THAT'S BULLSHIT!" I walked up to him and sat in his lap, thinking of this awesome comeback. I started out calm and even-toned. "Oh yeah, Hidan, is that so?" I said, leaning my head onto his shoulder. I pretended to be attracted to him to make this thing as heart-stopping as possible. Hidan was confused because he knew that I didn't like him, and the others leaned in, curious as to what would happen, for they knew that I could be witty. "Uh, yeah, Sayumi, it's tons of bullshit," Hidan said. "Is it really?" I say, then sit up and scream into his face, "WELL, YOUR PRECIOUS JASHIN IS BULLSHIT! YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE BESIDES JUST CUTTING YOURSELF FOR HIM, HIDAN!" I giggled flirtatiously, then stood up and put a hand on his shoulder and said, "I'll take my bullshit back if you take your bullshit back, sweetheart." Then, I looked at Kakuzu and said, "If his chest bursts open in a heart attack or so, you wouldn't mind sewing him back up, now would you?" He chuckled and said, "Nah, whatever." Hidan then mutters stuff like, "Fuckin' overreacted," and, "she has got to calm the hell down."

Tobi perked up and said, "Tobi is a good boy!" I glomped him to make him get all hyper, since it was funny when he got all excited, and said, "Oh yes you are a good boy." (o.O wow that's so random! It just popped out of nowhere; that response Sayumi had)

Then, I told everyone to count one hundred seconds. As they counted, I made my clone step in front of me. Also, my clones hiding in all of their bedrooms locked the doors and barricaded them; just to make it look like that was where I was hiding.


	2. Chapter 2: Zetsu & Itachi

I jumped out of my bedroom valiantly, landing in the bushes outside of my room. I ran for a few miles, eventually getting tangled up within the bamboo fields. I used my chakra to climb up one of the stalks, and I stared at the full moon. This game was pretty easy, for I knew whom to expect in this area. Zetsu, of course! I had hidden in a tangle of shoots a bottle of weed-killer mixed with lemon juice.

I considered where I should spray him. His eyes, his nose, yanking off the cloak and spraying him all over; gosh, this would be fun. Tee-hee!

I heard a huge rustling of branches. This would be my chance! I jumped across the shoots towards my hidden bottle. I hid next to it.

Zetsu shredded the shoots out of the way. I pretended to make distress calls. "Oh, Zetsu! No, don't! Pleeeeeease!" Both halves of him chuckled. "Well, I found you!"

Before he jumped out, I sprayed him with weed killer. " SAYUMI YOU'RE DEAD AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. The birds all flew away, and I happily jumped from bamboo stalk to bamboo stalk, easily stepping on their tops.

My clone, me, ran into the forest. Itachi… what could I do?

The thought clicked to me, and an evil smile overtook my face.

He came out of the woods, and I was disguised as Sasuke.

Song to play: I believe in miracles by hot chocolate

"Oh, Itachi, I believe in miracles!" He was confused, and he looked scared.

"You sexy thing!" I screamed in his ear.

He tried pushing me away, but I ducked and kept singing. His eyes grew wide and soon, he screamed, "Ahhhh! My brother is gay! Sasuke, don't get revenge on me this way!"

He started backing away, but I kept following him, singing. "You sexy thing!"

Soon, he fainted. I transformed back, laughing my evil laugh.

I met up with my clone, the one who scared Itachi with a gay Sasuke. She poofed away on my command, and I walked towards my other clone, the one who would go after Hidan, to watch the show.

(Sorry if you guys don't like this. I tried to make it comical. This was rated K+, so if you're all looking for smut, then go look elsewhere. Oh, and I guess this wasn't one of my best ideas, for others who would work on this topic would be creative, funny, etc.)


End file.
